SO I learned a fucking big lesson already this year. It sounds so fucking simple but I still do not want to believe it... $10 an hour is NOT worth your sanity, your happiness, your eyesight. Damn it all that job paid good. Better than I have ever gotten. One would think I have no skills, but really its no license, no car, too nice. Wow I sound like a whiny bitch. But really, if I did the right thing, like everone I respect says I did , then why do I feel like a fucking failure?! Hmm, Leylia? Answer that one will ya. Exactly. You can't. I have to figure it out myself. Maybe I should start believing what I tell Chris as it applies to me. A person as beautiful as him, and I mean inside, in his mind, mostly in his spirit, cannot be a failure. SO I am beautiful, at least I am getting there, does that mean that I am not a failure?

SO thanks for that little insight... hows about this? The woman grows while the little girl inside chides betrayal. Thats a princess for ya. Love, ME. P.S. I hope you had fun at Karate. I miss you. again. still. but not as bad.

Hey babe.... long time no post, right? Well I can never get it on my laptop, so I guess it is a home thing. Damn. So I suck, huh? Hey! Guess what I did world? I got TRAShed, more dtunk than I have been in my life and I was with the best man in the world, my handsome boyfriend, and all I wanted was my best friend, Adam. Do you think he will ever really believe it was because I was embarrased? I do not puke in front of ANYONE.