SO I learned a fucking big lesson already this year. It sounds so fucking simple but I still do not want to believe it... $10 an hour is NOT worth your sanity, your happiness, your eyesight. Damn it all that job paid good. Better than I have ever gotten. One would think I have no skills, but really its no license, no car, too nice. Wow I sound like a whiny bitch. But really, if I did the right thing, like everone I respect says I did , then why do I feel like a fucking failure?! Hmm, Leylia? Answer that one will ya. Exactly. You can't. I have to figure it out myself. Maybe I should start believing what I tell Chris as it applies to me. A person as beautiful as him, and I mean inside, in his mind, mostly in his spirit, cannot be a failure. SO I am beautiful, at least I am getting there, does that mean that I am not a failure?