Dear Dork in Shining Skin,

I have been requested to inform you that despite petty bitchiness, constant whining and a temporary shoddy living environment, there is a sprite who wishes to meet with you on Sunday, September second, year of our Leylia, 2001. Her request is earnest. However, I am required to warn you that aforementioned Sprite will be extremely giddy and emotional on said date. At your discretion, please reply.

Sincerely,
The High Messenger of the Wood